Girl Sued Facebook!

“This is insane! How the hell can he get a Like more on his profile picture than me?” These were the words that a girl from ‘Jabran ki Husiyari Institute’ simply yelled when she came to know about his friend getting a like more on his profile picture than her. And now she is heading to file a case against facebook under the charges of defamation.

Inquiring about the issue when a journalist asked her about what difference a single like will make, she just lost it and in the name of all the evils she started cursing, “A single like you say!! Aik extra like ki keemat tum kya jaano journalist babu! That top with tweety print is of 3500rs; the jeans cost me rs. 5000; the make-up I am wearing in that pic was of 2500rs; that Barbie hair-band you are seeing which I exclusively ordered in limited stock edition, cost me 3000rs; and that jewellery I am wearing along with my prism heals were of 6000rs alone! Now do the math and will find out after spending a whole sum of rs. 20,000, I could only grab those 500 likes on my pic! And that moron, wearing his 100rs T-shirt with a borrowed jeans from his roommate and to it those filthy sleepers, got 501 likes on his pic! And you are saying what difference will a single more like will make? How could you?! What about my status quo which will get degraded when people will come to know about this?! Answer it! Can you give me back the reputation which I earned in all these years after spending millions on it?! Tell me; tell me if this isn’t defamation then what is it? Answer it! I said give me the damm explanation now!”

Simply shocked and nearly in trauma, the interviewer tried very hard to grab his senses. In search of words he did his next mistake by asking what wrong has facebook done in this whole scene and why not suing that friend of her instead? The girl shouted, “This is f***ing insane! Not in the world can a boy get more likes than a girl on a profile picture! This is a serious mistake on facebook’s part and I will make sure that they suffer! I think there is some problem in their coding methodology because of which such a blunder happened. By filing this case I will force them to re-code their facebook pages and make a default correction which will make sure that no boy gets more like than a girl on his display profile. And in case if some boy is still getting more likes then simply block his entire profile! Yes, I will make this happen! This is an insult to entire female species on this universe! This is no more a trial this is war and I will conquer them all, yes I will!”

The whole scenario took a U-turn when out of nowhere investigation team found that those 501 likes on that boy’s profile picture were all from fake Ids on facebook which were created by that boy himself to let go his obsession for number of likes on his pic, as he never in his life had got more than 5 likes on any of his profile picture! The girl’s community from ‘Jabran ki Husiyari Institute’ has released a fatwa against that boy and hence proven, Not in the world can a boy grab more likes on his profile picture than a girl! :P

REMINISCENCES!

The unending reminiscences are scorching my soul,
I am all burning in fire but making no howl.
The colour of my skin changes with the blowing wind,
Numb turned my faith so is the hounding tint.

The menace they call to my sacred soul,
In hatred they sank my only goal.
To help the humanity which once I thought,
Ended up in filth of betrayal I sought.

My sword turned red in this game of filth,
And it lead me nowhere but to the fatal guilt.
In the rain of lust my heart mourned,
I looked for a shelter but all turned stone.

With bleeding soul I stalked death to take me away,
It was already stalking me making my mind sway.
"Come ohh resolver, free me from this hypocrisy,
Let my soul swim in the sun of ecstasy".

Disguised in an arrow it pierced my skin,
Blood was coming out going were my painful sins.
Drop by drop I was draping the end,
Reminiscences are gone, atleast I can pretend!

स्याही

काली, नीली, हरी, सफ़ेद,
हैं रंग इसके कितने अनेक!

इसके कतरे-कतरे से शब्द बन जाए,
और शब्द जो जुडें तो कहानी कह जाए!

किताबों में छपकर कई उज्जवल भविष्य बनाए हैं इसने,
और तो और कई वंश सजाएं हैं इसने!

शब्द जब मुख से न फूटे,
एक साहस बन कई दिल इसने ही तो लूटे!

सरहद पर जब भी हुआ जंग का शंखनाद,
एक रुमाल बन कई माओं का दिया इसने साथ!

कभी लालिमा लिए शादी का उत्सव बन जाती है,
जब तब ये स्याही खुशियाँ बिखरा जाती है!

पीड़ा को घोल जब उतरी पन्ने पर काला अक्षर बनकर,

तो कहीं से जनाजे और कहीं से उठी विलाप की लहर!

प्यासी धरती जब जब प्यास से बौखलाई,
लहू का रूप धर स्याही ने ही उसे ठंडक पहुचाई!

भूत, भविष्य, वर्तमान सब इसने रचा,
किस्मत से लड़ने का साहस बस इसने ही रखा!

ये स्याही ही जन्म से अंत तक की डोर है,
अंत ही स्याह और स्याह ही अनंत है!

Rape, not an act of power!

Son: Hey dad, I am a boy and I am strong. Am I more powerful than a girl?

Father: What do you think son?

Son: I am a bit confused dad!

Father: What’s the reason?

Son: Today I lifted a bucket full of water when I was taking a bath and then I ran half a K.M. without stopping. But...!

Father: But what son?

Son: I saw a girl this evening carrying 4 utensils full of water to a long distance even longer than miles. Of them, she put two over her head and rest two; she was holding them in her arms! And to my surprise she was exactly of my age!

Father: My boy! Then what made you think that you are more powerful than a girl?

Son: I read it daily in newspaper that some and some girl is brutally being raped by a group of men. I don’t know what rape means but I know it is something connected with power of men!

Father: If you don’t know what rape means, then how can you say it is something related to power of men?!

Son: Because in many such news, I also read that girl is being hospitalised and in some cases they end up dying!

Father: Ohh (Sigh)...! Son, the news you read are correct but what you are inferring from it is blemish!

Son: Ohh! Am I?

Father: To begin with, let me define what rape is! Rape is weakness and never strength, that some obsessed men posses. It is actually an incapability of those who can’t fight themselves, the demon inside them and distinguish between what is right and wrong. Rape is a disorder which nullifies humane characteristics, consciences, mental purity and makes one’s entire being filthy as hell. Rape is curse, a curse to entire human race! So, never misinterpret rape as power!

Son: Ohh I didn’t know that!

Father: You are just you; neither less nor more powerful than anyone else! But you can always become better than any other person on this planet.

Son: How?

Father: By respecting the other gender! Help them, befriend them, make them happy by your kind behaviour in turn you will feel respectful by yourself and you will never have to feel the guilt that misconception about power might have given you. Son, always remember; power is an obsession whereas betterment is actually a road to eternity! Try to become a better person as you are what you are not less, not more; you are just you!

Son: Okay dad! Now I understand what it is all about! It is not how powerful you are instead it is how better you can become! Thanks dad, I will also let my friends know this thing. Thank you for clearing my misconception!

Father: Love you my son! J

SUN AND GUN!

FROM A CHILD's PERSPECTIVE! 

Oh dear sun,
Please give me a gun,
When I'll come to bully you,
So that you can't run.

You work very hard,
With full devotion and art.
But when I wanna sleep some more,
My mumma scold me very harsh.

Go to sleep late,
Without any debate.
But when you come early,
That's the only thing I hate.

Live the way you like,
Keeping all problems aside.
I wanna live my life too,
So don't give my anger a hike.

Pass my desires through,
But only if you are true.
Ever try to make me fool,
I'll tighten your screw.

We will become friend,
Our friendship will have no end.
Please try to cooperate,
Atleast you can pretend.

Now we'll have fun,
So this is done.
But I still want a gun to hold,
In case you get turn.

Dedicated to the child in me! :)

Government Issues Plea to Common Public: Donate Onions on Dhanteras and Support Economy!

Are you a victim of deteriorating economy? Are you the one doomed by devastating rupee? No need to panic now! Yes, hours of peril are over as our dear government came up with a solution: Donate onions on this Dhanteras and support Indian Economy!
All the highly educated yet languorously situated ministers discussed in a meeting on how to cope with the deteriorating economy and came up with the only solution: Onion!
We conducted an interview with one of the official regarding the same issue. When asked about how such a move will be helpful in view of the Indian economy, he replied, “Ab is desh ko bhagwaan nahi, sirf pyaaj hi bacha sakti hai! Kyunki jiska koi nahi hota, uski pyaaj hoti hai!” Baffled by the reply our journalist asked for the elaboration, he explained, “Look onion is secular by nature! So, no matter to which religion you belong, you will buy it. Now let me explain to you how donating onions on this Dhanteras will strengthen our economy. Consider the following points:-
1.) As I said, onion is secular by nature; people from every religion are buying it. Keeping in view the hiked price of onion, it has become impossible for many to include onion in their list of weekly expenses. So, at this point, if one donates onions to the other then what he actually doing is befriending the other person! He will become fan of this person and in return what he will offer is, give you free rides to places and that too frequently!. So, what we have got?! The concept of carpooling dude!! We have saved a lot of petrol!! Result: Economy is being helped!
2.) As the price of onion is at its peak, while you are buying onions to donate them you are actually donating about 80% of it for the pappu’s tummy!....... Ohhh! Sorry, I mean to say for the betterment of the Indian economy. Now you may ask how? See, tax is what our whole economy is depended upon! Be it income tax, V.A.T. tax or our ‘Manmaana’ tax these all are the constituents of our healthy economy. So, you are actually helping a cause by buying onions for donating them! Result: Economy is being helped!
3.) You people spread uproar about black money issue. Hurray! We have got a remedy now! Hiked prices of onion can help in spying on people who have illegal income and property. As off course common man will not be able to buy it. Only the ones with illegal income will do. By this we can grab them red handed :D All the onion buyers will be prosecuted! In this way, black money will return to India. Result: Economy is being helped!
4.) The best shot that we have got on this strategic move is that we will be able to trap the politicians from other parties as they are the ones with illegal property who will be able to buy onions to donate! And you know what?! We just trapped one, the one who made the statement about gifting of the onions to his sisters on this Rakhi! If you know what I mean ;) Result: Economy is being helped!

5.) Elections aa rahe hain bhaiya paisa kahan se aaega?! It is need of the hour! Now you may ask the relevance of this point with the strengthening of our economy! Look, this is very practical one. If we will have funds then we will be able to grab the seat for the straight third time and just for the record we have Cambridge and Harvard pass outs among us! So, an educated man will do what?! Of course, he will strengthen India in all respect and all aspects include economy! Result: Economy is being helped!

So, you just need to buy onions and donate them to others on this Dhanteras and leave the rest on us :D”.
When the interviewer asked that directly or indirectly it will be a common man, who will be penalised. If he buys onion then he is the one with illegal income as per government and if he doesn’t, then he will not be the one supporting economy again as per government. Either way, common man will suffer. Why? Why should he?! In reply the government official said, “Behes baazi nahi, do as you are told to do! WE WILL SUCK YOUR BLOOD AND SO THE ONLY OPTION YOU ARE LEFT WITH IS, DONATE ONIONS!”
Thanks for reading :)

ABHIPRERAN!

Chal bhaag re bandey maar gulati,
Hai ghaat lagaye baitha baeri.

Hai josh to shankhnaad kar,
Jara Sher si chinghaad kar.
Jara cheekhke jajba to dikha,
Jo kaanp jae sampoorn dhara.
Han cheel si nazrein tu gada,
Manzil khud chal aaye kadmo ko badha.

Hai lakshya aik chad ja jaake,
Han han aj ladja jaake.
Lalkaar bhar ab dwand macha,
Bas shatru aik aur koi na bacha.
Yajaman ban shatru ko bula,
Usey vakya aik kehke samjha.

Sandhi ka aik hath badha,
Pulkit ho jaye jo dekh jara.
Shaahi hai andaaz tera,
Batla usye jo nazrein phera.
Par bhav Vibhor na hona tu,
Datke satark ab rehna tu!

Shatru jo ghaat karey vishwas par,
Tera hath ho ab ho talwaar par.
Kar seena chauda ab datna tu,
hai samay nahi ab bachna tu.
Chhat-Vit kitna tu kyu na ho,
Par ant waar bas tera ho.

Hai kawach kudal teri Chhaati,
Hain hath tere shool ki bhanti.
Sab yuddhh kala teri dasi,
Karde prachand teri khyati.
Ban veer aj jauhar dikhla,
Hai shoorveer aisa batla.

Sahastron se lad jana tu,
Vijayi stambh ban jaana tu.
Na ho to rann mei mar jaana aj,
Par kayar ban na sheesh jhukana aj.
Vikraal roop dharke apna,
bas datja tu aur nai koi sapna!

Taiyaar tu? Uttar dede,
Sab kaaj chhod hami dede.
Ab bhor hui ho chala samay,
Dradh kar sandhya tak taye hai fatah.
Ab bhag re bandey maar gulati,
Hai ghaat lagaye baitha baeri!
Hai ghaat lagaye baitha baeri!.........

EUPHORIA!!

Those days I was trying to get in touch with some people having above average INTELLECTUAL QUOTIENT. In my efforts I came across many personalities; some were great Orators, some were famed artists, some were legal god and there were lot others. I use to meet them every other day, learn some new tactics from them and try to apply them in my life as well.

Then one day as I was preparing for my day so was sequencing my schedule, suddenly a boy came to me asking for a  'ROTI'. I pen pictured the boy; he was about 8-9-year-old, was in his swats, had pair of jogger shoe in his feet and a shining pen in his denim jeans' pocket, keeping all this aside the boy had adoring eyes, whose glare was escalating with his cute smile.

I waited for a while and then my mind started playing tricks with my heart. I thought, what in the world made this over charming boy beg? I regained my consciousness then  asked the boy what was the matter with him. The boy in his innocence  replied if the ROTI were not good for health. I called the boy inside and let him to my dining. I prepared a plate full of all the delicious dishes that an 8-9-year-old boy would love to have.

The boy gave a glance at the plate and just then he gave a  totally untraceable and mixed emotion-full look to me. I asked the boy if the food was not good, the boy replied, " Is ROTI not a favor to ask?" To my great surprise, I just gave a glance at the plate and thought, this used to be my favorite food when I was about that boy's age. Then I myself made some fresh ROTIES for the boy and served him.

As the boy saw ROTIES coming, his joy was easy to be felt by any person. The boy one-by-one ate 3 ROTIES and just those and never argued for not serving him anything else, but ROTIES. I was watching the boy and was feeling very happy on seeing him eating so desperately. After he finished I asked the boy if he were fugitive? The boy replied in a negative gesture.

Just after this the boy ran away from my house straight through the road leaving a shouting me behind. I shouted to the top of my voice to call him back but in a flash of light he was nowhere to be seen. I re-winded the whole set of moments from the starting to end, conclusively got nothing, the only thing I could do was to feel a great joy of feeding a boy.

Then I got busy in my previously left schedule. Just as I was about to leave, I saw the boy coming back but this time with a lady. Suddenly I stopped and waited for their approaching. The boy came near me pulling the lady's hand (seemed in a hurry). As they approached the boy started telling, " mumma this is my father I have tasted his ROTIES those were equally delicious as the ones father use to make. Yes mumma he is my father really, I have tasted his ROTIES". I was in a sudden shock of what the boy was telling then with a confusing face I looked for the lady to clear all this mess.

The lady calmed down the boy and then she begged apologies for the troubles created by her boy. I told her there was nothing to make apologies to and that the boy was very sweet, then I asked her what was the matter with the boy!! The lady replied, " His father died when he was of 5. His father used to make dinner for him many times and feed him with the best he can. As the ROTIES were his favorite; the taste of them is now connected with his blood. Now every single place he searches for his father as he thinks he is out for some work and will return some day. Since then he is searching for the same taste of ROTIES as the ones made by his father but he hasn't found it yet. But today after eating ROTIES made by you, he got it, the Taste. And so he is calling you his father, very sorry again".

The lady ended with these words and left the place with her crying boy in her arms, who was still saying, "FATHER come back, mumma please let go. He is my father........". I was dumbstruck at the moment and now I had no joy just tears in my eyes.......

The End.

Dedicated to my father:- 

                                                                                                                
 Late Mr. RAJESH NEMA